Episode 007 - Get Moving with Josh Robson AKA Robbie One Nut

“everyone asked me “How’s things?” “Yeah I’m good” when really, I wasn’t.” 

Tradie, cancer survivor and athlete, Josh Robson joins Mike & Ben behind the mic this episode to share how his version of tough was rocked by a sudden diagnosis of testicular cancer. Now he likes to go by ‘Robbie One Nut’ and that self appointed nickname alone, says a lot about this blokes mindset. Josh shares with us some of his highest highs, lowest lows and the things that helped get him through it all.  

Talkin Tough is proudly brought to you by Ski For Life, an Australian charity dedicated to promoting mental health, wellbeing & suicide prevention. You can find out more at https://www.skiforlife.com.au/ 

If this Talkin Tough episode has struck a chord with you and you could do with some extra support, please reach out to a trusted mate or professional or call Lifeline on 13 11 14. https://www.lifeline.org.au/ 

listen to the full episode:

EPISIODE TRANSCRIPT:

Mike: [00:00:00] What tatts?

Ben: He hasn't told me he's got tats

Mike: Mate, he's got a full sleeve going there. Can you lift up the old-

Ben: nah Save that gear for the poddy mate.

Josh: It was a stupid 20 year old decision where mate was a tattoo artist.

Ben: Hang on. We're gonna save this for the podcast.

Intro: What do you get when a legless, and a blind bloke walk into a bar, a couple of mates on a mission to challenge what it means to be tough,

Ben: Righto. Welcome back to another episode of Talkin Tough, proudly brought to you by Ski for Life. And as always, we are here to have a chat with the Average Joe. We're here to have a laugh and we are here to redefine what it means to be tough.

Legless.

Mike: Yes.

Ben: How are you, brother?

Mike: Yeah, I'm really good mate.

Yeah, I'm really good. It's been-

Ben: what's been going on?

Mike: Oh, look, it's been an interesting old week. I had one particular interesting circumstance. And this, happened.

Ben: Tell me, I'm all ears.

Mike: I was walking,

Ben: I'm not all eyes, but all ears.

Mike: I was walking [00:01:00] yeah, I was walking down the we decided to go for a walk, family walk.

So I've got a little one year old, almost one year old little boy walking along. Went to the local park, and as as everyone knows, got no legs I wear shorts all the time. But I went down the park, this particular afternoon with my wife and we bumped into one of her friends.

But as I walked across the park, I didn't know this, but she noticed that someone that was sitting in the park all of a sudden got their camera out and they started filming me walking.

Ben: Filming you?

Mike: And I didn't know at the time we walked off

Ben: did you sign a consent form?

Mike: And I didn't know this was happening. And then later on yeah we walked off to another part of our neighborhood and she said 'there was a guy that actually was filming you walking around' and I'm like, really? Where was, I was got fired up. I'm like, who is this guy?

Ben: Like a zoo animal.

Mike: Yeah. It made me feel a little bit like I was a zoo animal. So that was an interesting sort of time.

Ben: You could. With those legs and the fact that you can jack your [00:02:00] height up to whatever you want. You could be a giraffe. That's still not the point.

Mike: Could be. I've, gotta be honest with you though, like it's it's an interesting one. Like most of the time I'm totally aware that people are, looking and staring at someone with no legs. That's perfectly fine. But getting your phone out and filming it is that a bit over the top?

Ben: Mate, I don't think it's acceptable. Yeah I'll be pretty blunt about it.

Mike: Bit crazy. But yeah, that was my week. But it, a as always, we are back at Talkn' Tough for another episode and I'm really excited about this episode because we have the most wonderful guest. I dunno a lot about our guest today, but I have read some things so it's all new and I can't wait to dive deep into his story and get a bit of insights into a young man that knows a hell of a lot about what it means to be tough.

Ben: Yeah, absolutely mate. I am pumped as well. I have met Josh a couple of times. Josh Robson. Look, if I was gonna give give you a pump up, give you a spiel, give you an intro, I would put it pretty simply as the fact that [00:03:00] he aligns pretty perfectly with the, type of people that we have on this potty.

And that is literally the average Joe. I'm sure you'll tell us all about it, mate, but you're a construction worker. Probably the non average bit is also an Ironman. But mate, yeah, thanks so much for be here.

Josh: Ah, thanks for having me. It's super cool to be here with you both and watching you bounce off each other.

Mike: Straight off the bat mate, you are wearing a shirt. We're gonna be, I'm glad he's shirt. Thank you, mark. You're gonna be discussing it, but underneath that shirt, Josh has got a hell of a lot of artwork going on. Talk us through that Josh. You got a full sleeve going on there, lifted up a bit.

A lot of what's going on there.

Josh: A lot of stupid teenage choices.

Mike: How old are you?

Ben: I'm now 31

Mike: and at what age did you get this full sleeve tattoo?

Ben: That was about it started. And your regrets?

Josh: Yeah, just if you're out there thinking about your tattoo, maybe just think about being 31 and then being on a podcast and the opening question is, what about your tattoos? [00:04:00]

Ben: Lucky it's a podcast mate.

Josh: That's it. They can't see 'em. So a lot of-

Ben: but in all seriousness, I can't see them. So you are gonna have to tell me what they are.

Mike: Yeah, tell us what they are

Josh: they're just a few patterns that were made up by a mate on the spot and we just ran with it. Literally, that's what it is.

Ben: Super meaningful.

Mike: So your mate just literally drew it up

Josh: drew it on with highlighters and texters and then just colored

Mike: Went to a tattooist

Josh: yes.

Mike: And then said, Hey, my mate's been scribbling on my arm.

Josh: No. So he was the tatooist

Mike: Oh, he was the tattooist.

Josh: He wanted some practice.

And then, yeah, just the way we went. And then once we had a sort of a few patterns going on, we grabbed those patterns and just transferred them around and it created the, maze I have on my arm, which I do have a few regrets about

Ben: I'm gonna picture you without it because you got regrets. Yeah. Cause I haven't pictured you with tatts yet, so in my head you don't have tatts, but mate, to kick off again, thanks so much for being here, but we'd love to kick off every single episode with understanding. What your definition of tough was when you were growing up. What did tough mean to you [00:05:00] as a little kid?

Josh: Tough as a little kid was just how hard you could work. I always wanted to be a hard worker and work harder than the bloke next to me. And it was just about not crying, not being a sook and just if, you were, sad or had any issues, you just got on with life. It was quite simply, that's what it was.

And, if you're sick, you go to work. If you're it's just quite simply the old tradie brought up on a farm. You just, you get on with life. It's that simple. Get over it.

Mike: Does that comes from you parents?

Josh: I think it just comes from bering we've had a farming background. It's just all the old farmers and horse riders did a lot of horse riding as a young kid.

So it's just the mentality we had-

Mike: yeah. Whereabouts did you grow up? Josh? Where is the farm?

Ben: Bacchus Marsh. Just west of Melbourne. So yeah, out on 25 acres there and played polo lacrosse as a kid, which is not polo, it's lacrosse on horseback and that's, I guess that's where the mentality comes from because you're always out riding your horse in the-

Mike: Many falls?

Josh: Yeah, I had a [00:06:00] lot of falls

Mike: Mate, you'd have would be tough to play a sport like that. It's pretty hard.

Josh: It was a good sport. It shaped who I am today. I wouldn't change it for the world.

Ben: So, tell us about growing up. Tell us about Josh as a whipper snapper what was life like?

Josh: Yeah there's a lot of thoughts that come to mind, but yeah, literally just my brother, I've got a younger brother. We lived on 25 acres, a little bit outta town, so we, just hang out on the farm as kids. We rode horses, motorbikes, just we were just little larrikin kids.

Mum and dad at home as well, and yeah that's, pretty much it, played lacrosse played football, heap of sports and stayed pretty structured in our childhood and had a pretty strict childhood as well.

Mike: Pretty close to your brother?

Josh: Yeah, very close to my brother.

Mike: Yeah. Parents?

Josh: Very close to mum and dad as well.

Mike: Even though they were strict?

Josh: Yeah, they were very... mum especially. Yeah. Shout out.

Ben: Shout out mum.

Josh: Yeah, shout out mum. Thanks. Yeah, very strict and it's amazing the bond we have and, It's stronger than ever now as well.

Mike: Brilliant. Yeah. Fantastic.

[00:07:00] Looking forward to hearing more about why that bond's so strong. As we un unpack that. So, talk us through, obviously you work, what do you do for work?

Josh: I work in civil construction for Melbourne Company Delta Group. And I've worked with them for 10 or 11 years and just Yeah, that's, what I do for work

Ben: Just building the city, mate.

Josh: It's just yeah. Yeah. Pretty much. It pays the bills.

Ben: Now, Josh, we're not gonna beat around the bush here. As the podcast is called Talkin Tough and, we're gonna get straight to it.

And we want to know, we want to hear from you. In your life. Tell us about when shit hit the fan.

Josh: Shit... shit hit the fan. When I was about, realistically it hit, the fan when I was about 20 sorry, 26. And had really all come to the surface at 28 when I actually realized that ignoring the problem had gone too far.

So I just had a, small [00:08:00] lump on one of my nuts. I'm gonna say nuts. so that's-

Ben: That's what they are

Josh: And I had a little lump appear on my right nut, and I just ignored it. Thought it was possibly from riding horses in my childhood.

I'm a triathlete now, so a lot of bike riding and fitness work there, and I just thought maybe it was caused by the bike. It didn't hurt and I was training pretty hard at the time working, it was noticeable and I could feel it, and it, was nothing. And then, yeah, two years, or 18 months to two years down the track, this lump grew a little bit and it started to hurt.

And being that tough, it'll be right until it got pretty well unbearable. And that was when I thought I better get this checked out. And that's when it's-

Mike: so it literally got to a point where it was so painful. And that's the point You said, I better get this checked out.

Josh: Yeah, pretty much. It was just,

Mike: But it built up to that point.

Josh: Yeah. Pretty well. Ah, I got it... it pretty much went from not hurting to not hurting a little bit and then hurting. It just went from [00:09:00] not hurting to bang.

Mike: Oh, so it's, yeah. Straight away.

Ben: So was it like, Being hit in the nuts with the cricket ball. Like what, sort of pain are we talking?

Josh: It was just a dull ache. Yeah... it was like a toothache. But every time your pants brushed against the, nether regions it hurt the family jewels.

Mike: So what'd you do?

Josh: So I finished work- I very rarely finished work early at that stage because you know, that's what you do tough is working back hours long, long hours, yeah, just keep busy. And finished work, went to the doctors. I was lucky enough that he referred me to an ultrasound and that there was an opening the night and that night and there was a ultrasound clinic was next door. So I went straight in, just not thinking much of it, to be honest. Like I'm pretty blase, pretty easygoing.

And so they, did this procedure and, there was no, I'm pretty sure that the, I dunno what they're called, but technicians, they can't give much away. But he just said to me, Josh, no work tomorrow. You gotta go get these results first thing tomorrow morning. And that [00:10:00] was pretty well it, I remember that was the first time I panicked a little bit and thought, all right, this happens-

Mike: so is that sort of like the tech and that's, you said a technician, so not- ultrasound.

Josh: Yeah, the ultrasound

Mike: You got a gut feeling that he'd seen something that you need to take seriously.

Josh: Because normally if you... I've had ultrasounds on ankles and other things, and it's just, all right, your doctor, three days time, and then you'll get your results, but I guess if they see anything that's a red alert or high risk then they're gonna, Say, Hey, walk in now.

Mike: So you were pretty alarmed by his response to it.

Josh: I'm still a very blase person and because

Mike: so you went straight to the pub

Josh: No I don't go to the pub. I was actually, I'm heavy in training and I'd just come off a, pretty good race in Shepparton at the time, and I was like, all right, this is really cool.

No work tomorrow. Went and booked the appointment. I got an appointment at 9:00 AM so I was, seven o'clock at the pool and, back into it and thought, yes, I'm gonna utilize this day and, yeah. And then it all come crashing down pretty quickly. So went to the, doctors, walked in and, I [00:11:00] can still, yeah, clearly picture my doctor, his face when he just said, mate, the, sorry to save that lump,

we're pretty sure, it's 90% sure it's cancer. Testicular cancer. So that was really confronting. I actually get goosebumps saying it, but it was really confronting because you just, you hear all these stories about other people getting these things that news told to them that you never think it could happen to you.

And then when the reality kicks in when you're... I didn't ring my fiance at the time cause I was going home to see her. She was working from home. But ringing my brother on the way home, just telling him and that's when it sunk in because you're like, yeah, this is a real life thing and it's happening to me and I actually dunno what's next.

Mike: So you... without getting too much information told to you, your life's just immediately been thrown in the air. And was it a situation where you've heard the word 'cancer' and then nothing registered following that?

What sort of feelings were going through your mind?

Josh: Yeah, it was just empty. Like you... just you, still [00:12:00] didn't know what was going on, and at the end of the day, you hear all these really crazy cancer stories and you just, there's still, you're still in denial that's happening to you.

Mike: Of course.

Josh: So you just, I was just waiting for the, next part of my story to be told from the professionals. Really.

Ben: I can a hundred percent relate. I still remember that apparently the doctor, when he told me that I lost my eyesight, he kept talking for half an hour. I did not hear a word he said.

Yeah mum says that he was great and he talked us through this and that, and this and that. I was just like you said, mate numb. I did not hear another word he said after that you will be 'blind for life'. Which would be similar to hearing those words, cancer.

I I, can can can definitely relate.

Josh: I Think as well when they say I'm a bloke that just full of positivity. And when he said 90%, it was like, oh, he's wrong. There's a 10% chance I'm pretty good here.

Mike: He's seen the upside.

Josh: Yeah. So it's always no, I'm good. They're all right. We ended up going to Peter Mac.

Got referred to Peter Mac, and that was when we

Yeah. [00:13:00] Met the oncologist like when you walk into a cancer hospital for the first time, it's a pretty surreal experience and that's when your mind goes into panic a little bit. Then you go back to the 90% chance that you're gonna join these people.

Ben: Because what, are you seeing in there?

Josh: You're just seeing really fragile people. People with no hair, they're white as ghosts, they look incredibly ill. And some of them are 18 years old.

Mike: You're thinking that could be me soon.

Josh: It could be me. And that's when you're just thinking, sitting there going, wow, this is.

That's where it becomes real. And so you, obviously you're at Peter Mac you're in wonderful care. And you go to you get some more news.

Mike: And what is that... when you finally realize, okay, you're pretty certain about what happened then?

Josh: Yeah. Went and met my oncologist.

So Peter Mac, first of all, shout out to them because insane, incredible hospital organization. They're just, it's credit to them the way they deal with everything. So I met my oncologist and then told me that they had to redo the [00:14:00] ultrasound. Surprise Ben so we had to do two ultrasounds.

Ben: Another massage.

Josh: So another massage to the old family jewels and then MRIs to, they informed that they've gotta make sure that first of all, they're gonna do the test to confirm it is cancer.

And that comes. With a few other tests, but they wanna make sure that if it is, it hasn't spread to other parts of your body. And yeah, in that it was honestly as casual as all hell. My oncologist just, goes to me, Josh, I've shuffled some appointments and it, this was a Wednesday and on the Friday, so in two days time, we're gonna remove your right nut.

Mike: And it's like straight away.

Josh: Straight away.

Mike: After you got the MRI results?

Josh: No. So they haven't Even before. Even before. So it's just I'm doing all these tests that night. So they don't even know if it's cancer yet. They don't even know. And they,

Mike: so why, is he so adamant that he wants to operate?

Josh: Because this is a really interesting part, they say that you're two nuts, they talk to each other. And one bad nut means that there's two bad nuts. So they don't know what that is, but [00:15:00] a mass on your testes, that's no good. That's unhealthy. We're gonna get rid of it straight away. And you can still be fertile or Yeah.

Have kids with one nut. It's just there's no positive news to come out of yeah. Keeping two. So yeah, that was when I went... I just felt sick.

Mike: And I'd imagine, obviously young man, you've got a fiance. You're sitting there and being told this news and then your mind might Move forward and say 'what if I if wanna be a father' what does that entail?

So is that sort of a conversation you had to have straight right then and there?

Josh: It, was because we asked these questions to the oncologist Yeah. Immediately. And he just said, look, it's not, yeah... Truth be told right now, because they talk to each other. You're two nuts that probably both of them are bad at the moment.

And they said taking one out, plenty of People have had children with just one testes....

Mike: Okay

Josh: That wasn't an issue. I just more was going into triathlon, my racing, would I still be fast, strong? What about work [00:16:00] lifting things? Do you change? Do you lose... there was a lot of endless questions that probably had very simple answers, but just something you just think far out, yeah in that unknown.

Ben: Before we go into that 48 hours, because obviously that's gonna be huge. I need to clear something up from my own personal interest. Is it testes or testicle? Cause I grew up thinking it was testicle.

Josh: Yeah. I've gone to, I've done a lot of reading and writing on it, on what's happened to me in the past And every time I write testicle it comes up with a littlelittl little red squiggly line on Microsoft Word.

And yeah, you're write 'testes' and it's good.

Ben: So you're saying testicles not a word?

Josh: I don't think it's a word. And then it's weird because it's testicular cancer, but yeah. So testicle, I don't think,

Ben: Blows my whole childhood out the window.

Josh: Yeah. So what you hit get hit in the testicles. I think it's like tentacles on an Octopus.

I dunno. I dunno.

Mike: So testes is the right word? Or Testie?

Josh: testes yeah. And then testicular. Yeah. And I don't think testicles is...

Ben: Thank you for [00:17:00] clearing that up.

Josh: Clear that up.

Ben: Yeah, like I said, that ruins my childhood and all the jokes that I made about my testicles.

Josh: In saying that, I'll put a little star at asterisks at the bottom of that.

I'm the last person you want me teaching you English.

Ben: Righto. I'll, get that asterisk there. I'll go and write it myself and see how it looks.

Mike: 48 hours must have felt like 48 years, right?

Josh: To be honest, I think it was a bit of a whirlwind. Like next thing I know, I'm I'm in there and it's... you're under anesthetic and you're under, and you wake up and you've, got one nut. So it was that quick and then it was all right. That was a good enough scare within this cancer journey, they fixed it.

Mike: And then thought you were just gonna be okay off to recovery. Get my pants back on and off I go.

Josh: Yeah, pretty well like that. It was, they had all those re- tests that they'd done previously And then it was two weeks to let the cut heel. Now a little thing that everyone's blown by, [00:18:00] when they take out a nut, they don't actually cut open your ball bag.

Ben: Hang on.

Josh: Here we go.

Ben: What do you mean?

Mike: Where do they go through?

Josh: So they cut above in your groin, just below your abdominals and pop it up. And take it out now. I'd hate to.

Ben: Oh,

Josh: so it was actually, it actually made me happy.

Mike: What's the reason for that? Is it just doesn't heal well on the old scrub?

Josh: Yeah. I dunno. But when I woke up and felt that the cut was there and not down on the old fella,

Mike: 'They've missed!'

Josh: Yeah I was actually wrapped, first of all, I had to make sure they got the right one. But yeah, so that was a very interesting thing. Cause a lot of people go, oh, imagine that.

Mike: But I remember actually, this is a really a side, note here. I remember watching an episode of Bondi Vet once, there's a bloke right? And he owns, he owned a I don't know, it was a it was a bulldog, I think anyway, he lived in Bondi, owned a bulldog, and he was getting a bit Randy and, Rowdy and, they had to get rid of his nuts.

So the guy actually, Got them to take out the nuts. He goes, I'm only gonna let you take his testes out if you put prosthetic [00:19:00] testes in. Which is relevant though so then they, snipped him open, they took out this dog's nuts and they put two balls in. So they were still hanging out in the back.

Cause the guy insisted that he wanted a dog with testes. That was his thing. Like I said, Totally a side note. Sorry to be off.

Josh: No, that's great.

Mike: That's true. But, that's never a situation where you're like, mate, you can take one of my nuts but you are putting a prosthetic nut in.

Did you ever think about that?

Josh: They did offer, and they offered to put one in fair dinkum. They said, do you want a prosthetic nut? And I said, nah, Robbie. 'Robbie one nut'. They wanted, it just had a, ring to it straight away. Yeah, that's, Robbie one nut.

So Robby One Nut that was born.

Mike: yep. Wait, hang on. What the hell's Robbie One Nut?

Ben: I think we're across the desk, across the mic from Robbie One Nut.

But mate there's, gotta be some stuff going on in between years when you're about to have a nut taken out. Like there to me, there's two very different paths you can take. Go down and look [00:20:00] at the negative side or, look at the bright side, talk us about the sort of that mental health side of things when you're going through that?

Josh: It's just control the controllable, like it's I find it very for- there's a, if you wanna go into details of it, there's a lot of different types of cancers out there and not a lot of them, you can feel something and then act on it.

So I was looking at the bright side, fortunate, found a nut, found a lump on my nut. Could remove it. I get a second chance. A lot of people go through that, having blood cancer, bone cancer, whatever it is, they don't know until it's too late. So whatever, as I said, whatever the professionals say to do, we just go around and I'll just trust them and their judgment and we go from there.

Ben: Yeah. So what happened next?

Josh: So two weeks I had to heal. They then did a biopsy. Of the affected nut. And they did all, the MRIs, the ultrasounds, everything they'd done. And I had two weeks to recover with the, cut before I could go back to work and get my results. And, [00:21:00] off you go on your merry way.

Like I was doing a lot of... a lot of training. In that two weeks upper body strength and swim strength and a lot of walking just to keep active because I was itching to go like five days off work was enough and then I was ready to go, going a bit crazy. Yeah. And it was starting to be covid as well, work was getting a bit hey how ya going?

I thought I gotta keep my job as well and then away you go there yeah that, two week period ended and my oncologist, as I said in Covid, ended up on a Zoom telehealth call and yeah, just confirmed it was cancer.

Mike: Over Zoom.

Josh: Yeah, over Zoom.

Mike: Wow.

Josh: Just said, yeah, mate. We, got it out. It was cancer, but the next bombshell was, yeah, it spread.

And I was, wow. Yeah. Whoa, it spread. So I had a mass the size of a tennis ball in my stomach some spots on my lymph nodes and spots on my lungs. And the next part he said is, you're gonna need chemotherapy and,

Mike: So you're thinking five days off and I'm ready to get back to it and now all of a sudden you get chemo on the cards.

Josh: Absolutely itching. And that was when I was just like, what the hell is [00:22:00] chemotherapy?

Mike: When you found out, when they had the zoom call, were you with anyone or by yourself?

Josh: Just my fiance Em.

Mike: And how did she cope?

Yeah, I remember. I remember looking at her and she wasn't in a good way. And that's when that I went off her vibes that, yeah, this isn't good.

This is about to go down and am I dying? Am I actually, am I dying now?

Ben: So now that question's going through your head.

Josh: Yeah. So right now it's like, how, alright, this is really bad now. Like I thought getting that nut taken out. Game reset. Thank God I felt it. And finally

Mike: close, close call.

Josh: Yeah. Finally acted on it and everyone was just like, he's gonna be right, way we go back on the triathlon bandwagon, back to work, but, Righto. Alright, now you've got mortgage repayments, you've got, now am I gonna keep my job? I'm gonna be off work for how long? So I just had a lot of thoughts.

Mike: Did they paint that out, that picture of what the chemo was gonna put you through?

Josh: There was two options that they, so then they confirmed everything everything that happened saying [00:23:00] chemotherapy and cancer. And then I had to go into the cancer hospital to work out what way we're going go down.

Yeah. There was two options with the chemotherapy. There was a standard, what a standard sort of person goes through, which is just, I can't remember the actual details of it, but it about 30 hours of chemotherapy and then we were pretty much going with that because you don't want chemicals in your system, it can affect fertility.

Now I've only got one nut as well. Putting all these chemicals in your system can really affect what you're doing in life. And then There was another option and it was an extra 20 or 30 hours of chemotherapy. And they said that be no chances of, I've skipped a part there, there'd be no chances of lung scarring in that first option.

There was chances of lung scarring. In the second option, they say you're a free diver or a professional athlete. Now I get a lot of my mental health, a lot of [00:24:00] satisfaction in life out of running, riding, swimming, being active. And I just said to Em straight away, I can't lose that. If there's a chance to have a little bit more chemo, but be able to run, ride, swim, do what I love doing.

I'm a highly active person, then I wanna go down that path. BUt then there was her saying, what about fertility? You're getting more chemicals administered in your system.

Ben: Yeah. She's thinking about your future together. And it's... it's not just a little bit more chemo. Didn't you say the first option was 30 hours?

Josh: I think it was almost, yeah, nearly-

Ben: but thats nearly double in it

Josh: Yeah nearly double. Don't quote me on that, but it was a hell of a alot.

Mike: And it's not all just bang, 30 hours of chemo. It's like they space it out, they spread it out and you're feeling like rubbish for a long time.

So an extra 30 is nothing to be sneezed at.

Josh: Yeah they, it was described to me as well, is the, first one was three rounds, the second option was four rounds. And he said by the fourth round of this one, mate you're gonna know about it. So I dunno if that's to persuade you to go the first one, but...

Mike: so is there a [00:25:00] conversation, obviously you've spoken a lot since we've been chatting.

You've spoken a lot about having a family. It's obviously something you wanted to do. Was there a conversation about potentially, before all of the chemo. Because I've, as Ben knows and probably haven't spoken about it a lot, but I've been through IVF because of what I went through, couldn't have kids naturally.

So obviously had to get a little bit of help. And it involved, I don't wanna bring my own nuts story into this but it involved,

Ben: this podcast is going down hill people

Mike: but involve me going under and then they inject a big needle into your nuts and they pull out what they call young sperm. And then we've managed to have a beautiful little boy from it and everything but,

but prior, obviously in this situation, was that something that they talked you through and say, Hey listen, what about if we take a sample? Because that's when I'm straight away., My mind's going there. I'm going, okay Josh has got... before all the chemo. Yeah can, he freeze

Josh: Yep.

Ben: sperm and then look at having some intervention down the track and, having a baby another way.

Josh: Yeah. So we, then had... they [00:26:00] wanted to start the chemo pretty quickly.

Mike: Yeah. Okay.

Josh: So in between, we pretty much had, I think it was about seven days to freeze as much as we could because there was no guarantee that last healthy nut was gonna come back healthy.

Mike: Yep.

Josh: or if it was unhealthy and they wanted to do a few tests as well to see what it was like.

So yeah, there was constant, like every second or third day I think it was and it's actually a funny story in that because I actually recall. The first appointment to do with my cancer that Em my fiance at the time, she's my wife now, didn't attend with me, was my first appointment to go to the, donation.

Yeah. And I remember she goes, you'd be all right. You'll be by yourself. You'll be all right. And I'm like, mate, I'm sweet. So I remember that morning I went down at I looked at the, referral and it had Royal Women's Hospital, blah. Yep. That's all good. Sweet. I'm gonna do an ocean swim before I go.

And I read up the cold water revs him up. I thought you beauty. Anyway, I did that I drive down to the Royal Women's. I'm sitting in the waiting room, grab a number. I'm sitting there for about 15, 20 minutes. Jesus, they're [00:27:00] running a bit behind here and there's no men walking in. They're all women pregnant and look up and said, look, I'm just here to do a bit of a donation. She goes no, That's about 2K's away.

Mike: Oh, you're in the wrong hospital.

Josh: I'm in the wrong hospital. So I've gone, oh.

Mike: Went for another run.

Josh: Yeah. So I went for a run. I rock up to the donation place sweatn' bullets.

Mike: Yeah yeah.

Josh: and in I went I remember ringing Em and she's like if you've damaged that sample and by running and sweating and I left you for five minutes!

So that was a, funny little story to come off that. But Yeah, he gave a heap of did a few donations as much as I could, and then, away we went into the treatment.

Ben: Yeah far out so talk to us, what happened next?

Yeah, it's pretty gloom, doom and gloom, isn't it?

There's not what do you do? You, look, you're just sitting there your whole life. You've for the last four years I'd been striving to be the best triathlete, best human pretty well that I could be healthy, fit, race work, and now I'm gonna [00:28:00] be stuck. So I left a little part out with that chemotherapy that was, We went the second option.

And that was gonna be one week on, so a full eight hours in the chair for a full five days and then two weeks off to recover. And that four times. Pretty well they said you're just gonna deteriorate down to nothing and then that's it. Reality is you put all that work in and it's all gonna be thrown out the window pretty quickly.

Mike: How'd that make you feel?

Josh: Pretty terrible.

Ben: What's going on? What's that voice inside your head telling you?

Josh: It's to be honest, my voice my little voice, as I said before, holding onto that 10% hope that it's okay. It was the first thought was right. How can we make this positive?

And my life the reality is you could die. Like you you die.

If you're alive you're a dead man walking, so how can I make it, how can I make this... this a positive? And that was, I just wanted to motivate and inspire others that even no matter how you're feeling on the day, you can turn up and, be your best.

So [00:29:00] I decided I was gonna train through my whole treatment, and then I wanted to just, complete a race in triathlon, just a short distance race. Didn't know if it could be possible but complete a race in the same year that I was diagnosed with testicular cancer.

Mike: And did you lose a lot of weight?

Josh: I put on, put on a lot of weight. I don't know whether it was just all the chemicals and just the bloating of the chemicals, but yeah, it was, yeah, pretty just put on probably 10 or 15 kilos.

Ben: So that blows my mind to think that you've gone, right, I'm going through all this.

I'm facing 12 weeks of chemo and in that you've somehow found the mindset or made the choice and the decision to go, I'm gonna try and focus on a positive. I'm gonna set myself a goal of, running in this race. Which hats off to you. I've got two questions here. Let's start with the first.

Why do you think you went that way? Because so many other people would be [00:30:00] focusing on all of the negatives in that situation because there is so many of them.

Josh: It's a great question, but it's, outta your control and I just, if I had have, don't get me wrong, there was times where you were just, you didn't wanna do anything, but when you, it's like, it's a, I dunno how to answer it.

It's you could lie in bed and mope around, but time still goes on and I just find that moving is the body's medicine, so by moving you... it can just, you just keep the blood flowing. You walking the dogs if you lie on the couch. And to be honest, so that was early days in deciding I was gonna do that and the main motive was just to show everyone that anything's possible.

But as I started getting treatment movement, actually made the feeling of chemotherapy disappear even though I would run out of energy really quickly, you would feel really crappy. And then as soon as you got up, got moving [00:31:00] whether it was a walk, a light little spin on the bike it would feel good.

It was like the light, the weight was lifted off your shoulders. So it did help as well, which gave me extra bit of motivation because I'd felt that feeling.

Mike: And so when you finish your treatment obviously there must be a time when you go and you get retested.

Josh: Yep.

Mike: Tell us about that.

Josh: Yeah, it was actually the first time I would experience having PTSD.

Yeah, I never thought much of it, everything went pretty well during chemo and then post chemo, but going back to that hospital for the first time, and I remember passing the car park, which I used to leave, and I went into utter shock. I remember thinking, I don't wanna go in here.

And I remember ringing my wife Erin, thinking I'm actually my heart rate picked up, started sweating. Just because my body had been in there and hurt so much.] In the hospital. Yeah.

Mike: So where you were receiving the chemo?

Josh: Yeah so that's where I go to get the checkups post now.

Ben: So how long post finishing chemo were you back for the first checkup?

Josh: I'm pretty sure it was three months. [00:32:00]

Ben: Yeah. Sure. You've mentioned sort of experience in that feeling of PTSD.

Can you take us a little bit deeper into that? What's what's it feel like? What was going through your head?

Josh: I'm as you know a pretty bubbly a pretty cruisey and yeah, I was just in the hospital ready to, I was just excited to see some of the nurses who I've made a bit of relationship with.

And to see the people, maybe see my oncologist and whatever. And then to just go oh no and be just nearly go into shock. It's just whoa, alright. I'm not used to these feelings. It was just panic. And I think it was just, as I said, from being a little bit hurt and the body going, I don't want to, we're going in here for a reason.

And, it was just that, so it just was a, pretty horrible feeling. I still get it to this day going in there now, but it is, there's a positive to take out of that, that every time I go into Peter Mac, You just appreciate normal, you appreciate life. If you've had a bad day at work, nothing's as bad as going into that hospital again.

And you just think about how much worse your situation could be.

Ben: Yeah, [00:33:00] for sure. So tell us about that day and that feeling from a sort of a mindset point of view of when you did finally get some better news. What was that like?

Josh: Yeah towards, yeah, I went away with Em. I was actually I think I had about, from the last cycle of chemotherapy, we had about six weeks I think it was to, start regaining strength because by the end of cycle four you're, not good.

It's not a nice feeling. It was pretty horrible and lucky enough my partner family, they have a place in Inverloch. So I used to go up there and just ride the bike in the hills and go for runs and just, it was what I called coming from ground zero to try build back up to be the best athlete and healthiest version of myself I could be again.

And I remember just, yeah, we got the call we got a Zoom, we went on Zoom and got the call and that was just the biggest weight. It'll be a day, I'll never forget. It was the biggest weight lifted off my shoulders to know that. [00:34:00] After living life in the slow lane. It was time to really...

the handcuffs were off.

Mike: You got the all clear?

Ben: Got the all clear to say.

Mike: That's amazing.

Josh: The, believe it or not, the mass was still in the stomach, but it was a lot smaller and it was the size of a ping pong ball or, just under the size of a ping pong ball, which it's only scar tissue,

Mike: not thoughts only scar tissue. Okay.

Josh: Yes. So they said the body will clear that out.

Mike: It's so green light to get back into fitness pretty much everything go go on with your life. Yeah. Which was a pretty amazing feeling.

Ben: That's pretty cool.

Mike: How'd em feel, mate?

Josh: Yeah, she, it was just a weight lifted off her shoulders as well and yeah.

Cause she, she's been through everything with you right. And your family?

Yeah. A lot. Especially with Covid, Em saw everything. My brother and Em were there a lot. Mum and dad were in New South Wales. Which now, since then have moved into Victoria. Yeah. Okay. But yeah, a lot of people talk about myself and me going through it, but you... the, person caring for the cancer patient.

It's horrible. Yeah [00:35:00] It's huge. There's times where I'm a closed book as well sometimes. Which goes into, we can talk about I was going to that in a second, but I'm a closed book and I get up and I grunt, like my spine wouldn't straighten up or I was really sore and she, would cry and be like, are you all right?

Yeah, I'm good. And that goes into us talking about being tough, is I didn't realize how fragile I was until I got through chemotherapy. Until I'm here now. I go, man that was really bad. Now that goes into another point do we say we're okay because we need to get through something we need to tell ourselves like

this is just a, it's a question I'm asking you boys as well. I was like, I'm good. Yeah, I'm good. Everyone asked me, 'how's things?' 'Yeah, I'm good'. Really, I wasn't, but was I telling-

Mike: Sometimes you get sick of answering it though, don't you?

Josh: You do as well. Man, I'm going through chemotherapy. What do you reckon?

Mike: What do you reckon, man?

Josh: What do you reckon?

Yeah It's not rocket science. But yeah the, further I've got away from chemo, and especially on the one year anniversary of reflecting, I realized how, fragile and vulnerable [00:36:00] I was. And I just thought to myself why, didn't I show some of that?

It's actually a question I've asked myself, so.

Ben: Do you wish you did?

Josh: That's a great question.

Ben: That's what I'm here for, mate. The hard hitting question.

Josh: Yeah, the hard ones.

Look I'm the sort of guy that does try to march on, but since, probably not during the time of having chemo, if I went back through it again, yeah, maybe I would be a lot more in tune with the way I would respond to it and show my emotion because since chemotherapy and my cancer journey, I'm so intact with my emotion.

If I don't wanna do something, I'll say it. If I don't feel comfortable with something, I'll say it. If I don't like someone's comment, I'll say it. If I'm sad, I'll say it. Life is about how you feel. And I just know that my health and everything else comes first. And I guess that's just goes to back at what we're saying at the start.

It's not about how tough you are or if you're sick, you march on. If, you're not okay, go and look after yourself because your health [00:37:00] and, your own personal wellbeing is, number one at the most. And once you lose that, You firsthand. You experience it.

Mike: Absolutely. And so now you've got the green light. Tell us what sort of goals did you have? Did you obviously want to get back to triathlons? Is that something that, that you were able to do?

Josh: Yeah, so it was actually a real, there's another story involved in that. So I ended up training, I didn't train every day. It's a little thing that it was outta my control on the last two Sundays of cycle three and four.

I got up and went for a little walk, but I couldn't class that as training, but that were the two days that I just couldn't-

Ben: Out of 12 weeks?

Josh: Outta 12 weeks. It was two.

Ben: Oh, it's not bad, mate. Give yourself a break.

Josh: Em would have to literally get my legs outta bed, help me up, get me moving. As soon as I took my first few steps, I was right to start walking again.

But those days I just couldn't put myself together. It was just that week. Yep. But yeah, I completed my first race back in the same year as being diagnosed.

Mike: Amazing.

Josh: And yeah, it was just, it just [00:38:00] shows you can do anything and it, it comes with the support of your family, your friends.

Mike: And where was that, Josh?

Josh: Thst was in St. Kilda, in the 2XU short distance triathlon series. But my brother I dunno if I'm going off tangent and telling me if I am.

Ben: Mate, you just keep talking.

Josh: My brother just showed all about Just trying to set an example and, bring awareness to cancer and health. And he said to me halfway through the treatment that he hit, like he's a football player as well, never done triathlon.

He was gonna do a full distance Ironman to raise money and awareness for testicular cancer. And you pretty much laugh at him, you think, mate?

Ben: I don't... even Hey, know if I can do a full Ironman what's involved?

Josh: 3.8 kilometer Ocean swim, 180 kilometer bike ride, and a 42.2 kilometer marathon to finish after.

Mike: Is that all?

Ben: So that's it. Nothing much.

Josh: Nothing much after that. So I...

so I'd done one just as a bit of fun in the [00:39:00] past.

Mike: Just for a bit of fun. Just a lazy Sunday.

Ben: You got dared to do it and you thought you'd do it.

Josh: Yeah.

Mike: And it's a real culture, isn't it?

Cause my brother-in-law he's from America. He's one of the fittest guys I've known and he really struggled. He trained his butt off and did Bustleton. And went over there and we went over there to support him and they have the carb loading night before in the big tent with everyone like that. But there are some hardcore people involved in Ironmans. I remember one particular guy had a big reputation and I think he had, what is it? What's the order? It goes

Josh: swim, bike, run.

Mike: So he went swim, bike, and then he got to the run, this guy, and he was a professional triathlete, Ironman. And I think it was 5K's into the run.

He, totally ripped his calf off the bone. And he finished. So he refused to stop. And pull out like he was really bad injury, but he managed to do the rest of the 42 Ks. I think he just walked it. Yeah because it was just about a pride thing. There's some pretty dedicated people just like yourself.

Josh: I don't wanna, yeah. I just completed Port Mac three weeks ago and [00:40:00] amazing tore tendon in my foot at kilometer 20 of the run and hobbled finished. Mum was crying saying just, stop. Just finish. And Em was saying, he's not gonna stop.

Ben: She knows you too well.

Mike: I got there. It was a demoralizing feeling.

Josh: It was shattering. You put so much work into it, but we just hold pride and we work so hard to get there. Yeah. So you gotta get it done. I think it's just a part of it's just getting to the finish line. You learn that after... when you don't get your expectation of the race. You work out that you're just there to complete it and reach a goal.

Mike: Well done for finishing, mate. That's massive.

Ben: Yeah, a hundred percent. What is the aftermath like? Whether it's the, whether it was the first short race or thing about the one that you've just recently done, like from what you're saying, you're training every day, like obviously you're working as well, but you're training every day.

Obviously putting so much time and energy into it. What happens after you cross the finish line? Because that's a whole lot of training and work. Like how long goes into it, how much prep, and then what's the [00:41:00] aftermath like? it's The come down in a way.

It's literally you have a whole lot... I'll go into it like you learn the first thing about, I'll give you a serious answer and then a bit of a funny one.

Josh: You learn that life's all about the journey. It's not about the cherry on top, which is crossing the finish line of the Ironman. In that story, I was gonna say before, with my brother and I, we were doing the Ironman training together. He wanted to do the Ironman. We learned that the journey of doing that training for the Ironman together was so special.

Like it was certainly life changing, that the Ironman itself such a special day. It's just a cherry on top. You take that into your life everyday, everyday life. It's the process. Enjoy the process and then the rest will come.

Ben: Yeah, for sure.

Mike: Unreal mate, you've you've been so honest.

It's been great having a chat with you and, the way that you tell it. I think that you probably under, under sort of sell how hard it must have been to go through what you went through. We've got a couple of quickfire [00:42:00] questions, don't we Ben?

Ben: Yeah, absolutely.

Mike: I reckon we're gonna throw some stuff at you.

Just really easy, quick answers.

Ben: So I'll go first one?

Mike: Yeah, go for it.

Ben: You ready?

Josh: Yep. Ready!

Ben: Schnitty or steak mate?

Josh: Schnitty

Ben: nice.

Mike: Where do you go to switch off, mate?

Josh: To my bike.

Ben: Best place to go for a yarn with a mate?

Josh: Golf course.

Mike: Ah, golf man. There you go. Where do you play golf?

Josh: Just the local, little course.

Mike: Yeah. Fantastic. What's the worst advice you've ever got when it comes to your mental health?

Josh: Get over it, I reckon.

Mike: Yeah, get over it.

Josh: Move on. Get over it. Yeah.

Mike: Best advice?

Josh: It's the The Tale of Two Mountains. You get two lives, your second life begins when you realize you've only got one life.

Mike: Is that the quote?

Ben: That'll do

Josh: Tale of Two Mountains.

Mike: That sounds pretty good to me.

Ben: What is next? What is next in, in your life? What are you working on? I know you've told me about 'Turn Up'. Tell us about that. What's the future hold? What's a good in store?[00:43:00]

Josh: Just trying to, share my story about advocating for your health and Living your best life.

So Turn Up. I'm trying to just go around speaking to different companies or organizations, just sharing my story and try and see if I can rub off just a few lessons of what I learned during chemo without someone having to go through chemo well and go through a cancer journey, then that's just, it be one of the greatest gifts that cancer's given to me is to share that experience with other people to appreciate their life.

Ben: How'd you come up with turn up?

Josh: Turn Up because that's how simple it is. All you had to do each day was turn up. Like people think about it, just do it. And that's Nike, do it. But it's quite simple. Wake up if you've got something planned from the night before, like a exercise or whatever it is. Just wake up.

No one wants to get up outta bed and do it, but turn up and do it. As soon as you're in that done your first rep at the gym or done your first five minutes of run or the ride, you're grateful for it and, your blood's flowing, you're ready to go. So turn up it is that simple.

Don't complicate it.[00:44:00]

And you, I guarantee you endorphins are going at the end of it and you'll be feeling as good as gold. So that's where Turn Up comes from, and hopefully there's an exciting future within it.

Ben: Fantastic mate and personal life. Just quickly, you've got your, was your fiance now, your beautiful wife Em what's what's plans for the future?

Josh: Plans for the future. So married now and we went from Robbie One Nut to Powerball because naturally you can see, so

Mike: Oh, congratulations!

Josh: Yeah. Which was a big shock to the system.

Ben: That's... That is fantastic.

Josh: We got told it would be-

Mike: brilliant news.

Josh: Yeah. We got told it would be powerball.

Ben: Did you get a Powerball ticket that night?

Josh: So one of my mates come up with that name and yeah I thought I'm gonna take that.

Mike: Oh, that's so good.

Josh: So yeah, we got told there was zero to no chance. So that's another little lesson learned. Just run your own race.

Mike: Yeah.

Josh: Do the right things and, you dunno what your chances are. So looking forward to the future with, within that as well.

Mike: That's amazing. How, far along is she?

Josh: 21 weeks.

Mike: Oh, that's awesome.

Josh: Hopefully it all goes smoothly. You realize, you just realizing the small [00:45:00] things of a pregnancy journey, how precious life is, even after what I've been through you, you never of course truly understand how precious it is.

Ben: Knowing what you know now, being through what you've been through now, what is your definition of tough?

Josh: Tough is, Just being in sync with yourself and others making, yeah... you only get one life. It's appreciate, appreciate your normality because it's a superpower really at the end of the day. Tough isn't what it used to be.

Tough is standing up for what you believe in. Getting the full potential outta yourself and your body. And I think that's, been healthy. And, just be the best version of yourself. And we all know it. We all know what that is.

Mike: Thanks so much for listening to today's episode, and if struck a chord, call a mate and if he doesn't, pick up Call Lifeline on 11 13 14.

Thanks for tuning in Everything you've heard in today's episode will be in the show notes below where you click to play this episode. While you're there, why not chuck us a subscribe or follow, catch you next time![00:46:00]